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Hovering Above Change

June 6, 2011 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment
padlockI am organically repositioning myself in my life and my business and I haven’t landed yet. I feel suspended between here and there – wherever "there" turns out to be.
 
Like a butterfly emerging, I don’t know what color I’ll be, so I simply let myself evolve.
 
And like the butterfly it all has to come from within – an internal change that ultimately appears on the physical plane.
 

Listen from within

As new ideas emerge test them out. See how they feel to you. See what additional ideas they stimulate. When I decided to focus much of my coaching work on helping people develop information products it stimulated a great many ideas. I taught my Magnetic Content Development System in a six week course that made me organize those ideas into a teachable format. I founded the free Magnetic Signature Products Guild which is an entirely new niche for me. I started writing the “How to Craft” Series of ebooks. With that one shift to a narrower niche it was like fireworks, the ideas and projects came rapidly. What idea are you exploring that feels like it’s going to pop?
 

Look for the signs

 My signs appeared as full blown ideas that fell into place so easily there was no hesitation on my part to put them into action. Names like the “Guild” set the tone. I realized my system of teaching content development was unique. I was excited about teaching it. It was a direction I HAD to take it was that compelling. What signs continue to show up in your life that point you in a new direction?
 

Have patience

 I get inklings of what is possible. I go exploring to see what catches my eye. And I wait – never pushing or prodding. I simply stay open to the infinite possibilities. I listen intuitively and suddenly find treasures that steadily lead me forward on this new adventure. Start journaling about what you are feeling and thinking. Capture your ideas on paper. See what shows up and consider it.
 

Goals can stop change

If I decide a particular idea needs to be a book, I might miss the opportunity to consider it should begin as a teleclass or a video or even an article. Stay flexible. Stay open. Have a broad goal like “I want to change lives with what I teach.” Then let the way you do that unfold organically.
 

You can’t hurry change

 Opening up this new niche is like starting my business over. I have a new web site, a new blog which people have to find. I am still learning how to manage the membership software. I have fourteen ebooks I know I am going to write and I’m on number three. And each product needs a landing page, a shopping cart set up, a cover and promotion. There is so much to do to let people know these great resources exist. It can’t be rushed. It just needs to be done one step at a time.
 

Learn as you go

 The beautiful thing about writing so many information products is that I get to test my own system over and over again. Sometimes in my process I create a new worksheet that I add to the system. As I write I keep discovering new phrases that convey my message even better than the ones I have already used. As I coach new people I see that I can apply my unique decision making process to those who are starting up a new business or beginning any project. Wherever there is a decision-making process I can help.
 

Watch for leveraging

 One idea can be presented in many ways. A new client showed up that allowed me to apply my decision-making process to the establishment of her new business. As I worked with her I created new processes to guide her. I will include what I discovered and created in future information products. I’ve already taught full blown teleclasses in crafting articles, teleclasses and how to books. Does that material become another ebook series that cover each step? Do they become special interest coaching groups? Can I do a VIP day? As your ideas emerge see how they can be put to use in different formats.
 

Trust

 I have an idea where I am headed but with every step I take I look and listen and feel to be certain it is aligned with my passion and that it excites me as I make it happen. I know I’m growing, I’m expanding my vision, and my expectations are changing. I’m simply allowing a newer version of me to emerging knowing that whatever it looks and feels like will be absolutely perfect for my here and now.
 
Don’t you just love hovering above change?

© 2011 Cara Lumen 

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The Internet Education – How to Get One and How to Give Back

May 27, 2011 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

red-laptopI have a college education. Only 10% of women my age got one (I’m 78). We were just supposed to get married and raise children. In my 40’s as a mother of four, I went back to get my Master’s Degree. I was the first one in my family to do so. And I continue to get more education today – much of it for free from the internet.

The rising cost of education

I have to admit that I don’t know what my father paid for my BA in 1954 or my husband paid for my MA in 1995 but I do have an idea of what I’ve spent since then, particularly in developing my own internet business. 

Free stuff

It’s amazing how much great information is available on the internet at no cost. Everything from Wikipedia to blogs on a specific topic to the free teleseminars that give you valuable tips even as it promotes a longer paid class. Free videos abound with pertinent core information. People give out free ebooks as opt in offers and free levels of membership sites help you move rapidly forward. Seth Godin is giving away free ebooks. www.ted.com has inspired speakers. Bloggers give great information. Public domain literature is on line. And you can go get an important business book at the library. There is no reason you cannot get a healthy start on your business education for free.

Barter for learning opportunities

I received two major coaching certifications for no monetary exchange by asking if I could assist in the course. I volunteered in a three month course on information products and served three times as a team leader which strengthened my coaching skills and added to my reputation and my knowledge. I have exchanged coaching sessions with another coach because she knew things I didn’t and vice versa. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking to serve in place of paying money.

Pay for concentrated courses

Information marketers are a source of valuable targeted information. You can gain specific information and training for a small investment. With an Early Bird Special you can get a six week webinar on a specialized topic for under $200. And in that six weeks you will learn skills that could totally turn your business around. Conferences, workshops, webinars, speakers – all have words of wisdom to offer that will add to your online education.

Hire a coach

An investment in a coach for a specific phase or project will save you time and money.  Coaches have specialties and are trained to move you toward a specific target and keep you from taking costly detours. Interview your prospective coach so you both can tell if you are a good fit. Plan on at least three months if not longer and let your coach guide you rapidly toward your chosen destination.

Buddy up

 Sometimes learning online is as simple as finding a colleague to talk to every week. You help each other stay on target, get unstuck and keep moving forward. Whether it’s an accountability buddy, a Mastermind Group, or a membership forum, working with peers can be a great way to increase your skills and knowledge.

Write for discovery

One of my favorite ways to learn is to create a class or ebook about it and teach it. When I wanted to take my article writing strategy to a deeper level I wrote a teleclass about article writing and I not only inspired myself to up level my game but I added some new skills simply from the research I did for the class. Teaching helps you own the material you share.

Stay relevant

When you learn on line you keep up with the trends and changes and new needs. Follow some bloggers who are trying new things. Listen to the thought leaders on TED. Learn more about marketing. See where publishing is going. Keep up with the trends and try new things yourself.

Enjoy the versatility

The beautiful thing about an online education is that you get to take classes that interest you, not those that are required. If you want to be a public speaker you can focus on that. If you want to write, study and do that. There are classes on everything you could possibly want to learn from people all over the world through the internet. And there is no commute or restrictions due to our location. We can stay at home and increase our knowledge base as we learn from people who are teaching what they know. 

Now that you have gotten your online education, how do you give back?

Here’s the exciting part. Because you have hand selected your online education based on your passion, your skills and your need to be in service, you have a unique blend of knowledge. No one is going to offer what you do in the same way you do. So what better way to give back than to start teaching others about what you have discovered, the dots you have connected to take you were you are today, the insights you have gained along your journey. 

Teach what you know

People will pay a lot to someone who has read 15 books on a topic, done extensive research and distilled it into an ebook they can devour in 40 minutes. People will watch a 4 minute video that teaches them something that gets results and then call you to learn more. 

Whether it’s an ebook, teleclass, video, podcast, article or blog post, or coaching program teach what you know. As you teach you will deepen your own understanding. As you find ways to help others move forward you will move yourself forward. Information products do three important things – they increase your status as an expert, they create recurring passive income and they keep you learning as you teach. 

After you get your own eclectic version of education, try passing it forward by crafting your own unique information products. You can touch lives with what you know.

© 2011 Cara Lumen

Filed Under: Business Development Tagged With: ,

How to Mentally Prepare Yourself for Change

March 2, 2011 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment
Have-a-planI made a much needed change recently – it was a bit late, but better that I did it now than not at all. I began to wonder why it had taken me so long make the change and what had been the process that finally led me to the decision to take action. I thought that if I could figure that out perhaps I would consciously know how to mentally prepare myself for the next change.

Become aware of the alternatives

I first got a cell phone because I wanted it with me in the car in case of an emergency. I never used it but it was comforting to have. I didn’t know how to use it very well, but I had a perceived need to have it to keep me safe so I kept it. I gradually watched people around me use their cell phones more and more. Many gave up their land lines and used only their mobile phone. I watched people take pictures with it and text with it. Yet I still carried mine with me only when I drove. 

Learn how to use it

Part of the reason I resisted using my cell phone was that I couldn’t use it very well. I can do a lot of things on the computer that woman my age cannot but I had never tried to master a cell phone. The numbers seemed small, I couldn’t see it very well and most of all, I didn’t use it enough to be comfortable with it. I figured I could manage 911 at the very least. I saw no other need for it. A strong part of my resistance was that I had not mastered the technology.

Encounter a pressing need

All that changed when the promotional package for my TV, telephone and internet ended and my bill doubled. It then became a pressing need for me to figure out an alternative. I had two phones. Surely I could I manage with just one. The catalyst for change is often as simple as a changed circumstance and a new need.

Take action

I was ready for change. I spent an hour learning to use my cell phone. I pushed buttons that took me to all sorts of places. I’ve never sent a text message. I haven’t figured out the photo part yet, but I do have phone numbers entered into speed dial. And I discovered the headset from my land phone fits the cell phone. I set it up on my desk. I was ready.

Move out of your comfort zone

A pressing need led me to explore an alternative that I had discovered but had not utilized. That same pressing need prompted me to learn the mechanics of using the new system. And my final step was to let go of my land line – that comfort zone of familiarity. 

Thanks to my cell phone adventure, I’ve added an awareness about how to mentally prepare myself for change. I will keep my eyes open for the new innovations that exist and learn enough about them to see how I might use them. Then when the pressing need arises I will know what is available, what steps to take to solve the problem and will be able to effortlessly move forward. Go exploring. See what other people are using successfully. Stay curious.  You can mentally prepare yourself for change long before you need to make the actual shift.
 
© 2011 Cara Lumen

 

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How Your Self-Esteem and Self Image Affect the Outcome

January 31, 2011 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

agreementOne of the major beliefs that stand in the way of our success is what we believe we deserve. Both our self-esteem and self image affect that belief and both can be improved upon.

 Self esteem is about how you regard yourself at the deepest level
 
We develop our prominent world view by the age of five. And that world view is not controlled by us. We are influenced by those around us – our parents, their philosophy, the example they set, how they feel about us. Through the atmosphere in the home environment we develop how we feel about ourselves and the world around us – what we expect to receive in that world. Are we a good kid, are we smart, are we safe, are we valued, are we encouraged, are we loved? So here we are at age whatever-we-are-now wondering what to do about our bouts of low self esteem.
 
The key to success in life is to recognize the existence of the problem in the first place
 
Take a reality check. We have the advantage of looking back to see what we have accomplished. Look at what you did do, not what you failed to achieve. Look for and acknowledge the gifts only you have been given in your unique package. And question where your self-doubts come from. Was that a fear of one of your parents? How did their beliefs influence yours? Question your beliefs. Question your assumptions. Look carefully at what you now believe and why you believe it then make a fresh choice based on who you are today and how you want to live your life. Then take total responsibility for what happens to you.
 
Self Image is how you think you measure up to those around you
 
Self image is a judgment you make of yourself. How you rate in the company of others. And guess what, there is always someone out there that can do more than you can better than you can. Self image definitely affects self-esteem but you can change that by taking a different view of your life so far.
 
Our self-esteem and self-image determine what we believe we deserve
 
Low self-esteem keeps us for asking for what we want. We don’t ask for more money for our product or service because we don’t think we deserve it. We’re not certain that what we have offered is important enough, or big enough or valuable enough. All that self doubt comes from low-self esteem. Whether you’re reluctant to raise your prices, or ask for a raise, or go for that new client, how you do it and if you succeed are determined by your attitude about yourself. Are you good enough, attractive enough, smart enough, strong enough, wise enough?
 
The level of your self esteem shows up in your choices. You picked the bummer boy friend because of low self esteem. You feel your boss doesn’t value you because of low self esteem. You don’t even approach a new opportunity because of low self esteem. It’s not the outside influence, it’s the inside influence – what you say to you about yourself. And you can change that self-talk.
 
Watch your language
 
Negative self-talk is the most detrimental thing we can do to ourselves. “I can’t do that.” “I have no friends because I’m not likable.” “The other person is smarter that I am.” Stop that! Stop that now!!!
 
When I first became aware of how strongly my language influenced my life experience I really had to practice saying more positive things – to others and to myself – about others and about myself. Sometimes I stopped myself in mid-sentence so I could change the negative direction my words were going. It’s not just your words; it’s your thoughts and your actions. That’s a lot to monitor but it can be done.
 
Maintain an Acknowledgment List
 
Count your baby steps. A friend of mine got a divorce after 35 years and she is not well prepared for the practical aspects of caring for herself. She had allowed herself to be very dependent on her husband and her self-esteem is extremely low. She has a long journey ahead of her to become self-sufficient. But she is doing it, one step at a time. One of the things she did to help herself was to keep an Acknowledgement List. Whether it was learning to change the furnace filters, or going to the class on Quicken, she keeps taking steps that will ultimately change her life experience. Count the baby steps. Count the things that were hard only for you but that you did anyway. Then acknowledge yourself for having achieved them. Perhaps you wrote one article out of the twenty you want to write, but one is good and it is forward motion. Acknowledge yourself. Give yourself credit for the steps you take, however large or small.
 
Stop comparing yourself with others
 
We are each uniquely different – thank goodness. If you see a quality in someone else that you admire, work on increasing that quality in yourself but don’t beat yourself up if you are only able to partially achieve your goal. You are your own unique mix and that has great value.  But if you look at someone and say “I can never be that way” then stop it. Because you will never be just like someone else – and you don’t really want to. You are needed in the world just the way you are. Acknowledge and cherish your own uniqueness.
 
We have created our life experience
 
What we think, how we act, what we believe all influence how we experience our life. What you look for you will see more of. If you are looking for the things that could go wrong, you will find them. If you keep focused on positive possibilities they will show up. Your choices today, this very minute, affect your next experience. Choose well. It affects the outcome.
I think I can, I KNOW I can
 
Erase self doubt. Instead of telling yourself you think you can, shout out to yourself that you KNOW you can! Then go do it. All of us give ourselves some negative feedback from time to time. Listen to yourself. Listen to the words you speak and the thoughts you think and change them into positive affirmations of how truly great you are. We are each perfect just the way we are. We each contain our own unique blend of talents and skills, of beauty and strength. We are unique just like everyone else and we must learn to value ourselves for that uniqueness. 
 
YOU are the primary force shaping you life. Love yourself. You deserve it.
 
© 2011 Cara Lumen

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6 Ways to Use Open Time for Inner Work

December 28, 2010 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

close-lookThe pilots call it  “down time.” Musicians may refer to it as “between sets.” It could be the time between jobs or between tasks, but whatever you call it we’re referring to those unfilled moments in which you find yourself with nothing to do. How you fill those open spaces can make all the difference in what comes next. Here are six ways to use those open times for inner work.

1. Reflection: What did you accomplish?

I particularly like the week between Christmas and New Year. For me it is a time to examine the year just completed, to acknowledge what I accomplished and plan the year ahead. I begin by looking for what really worked. That acknowledgement is very important. If you take time to list all you have done you may be both surprised and pleased. Maybe you want to call it a “Gratitude List” rather than an “Acknowledgment List.” Write down your successes, you’ll find you have a lot to be grateful for.

2. Contemplation: What do you want to change?

Of course, some things didn’t work and we get to give gratitude for them too because they contained our lessons. We found out that we didn’t know how to do it, or people didn’t want it, or the timing was off, or, or, or… Looking at our less-than-successful ventures gives us insights into what not to do next time or how to do it differently if we choose to try it again. What lessons did you learn?

3. Decisions: What do you want more of?

Some things were absolute joys for us so of course we want more. What made them happen? What parts of it made it so invigorating? A little examination of what happened, what its components were and why it happened helps us take a giant step toward attracting more of the same. What do you want more of in your life?

4. Values: What qualities do you want to attract?

Whether you are contemplating next year or next quarter or next week or next day, what qualities do you want to be there for you? I’m a bit too much of a loner so I’ve decided to embrace the quality of willingness to be more social. Within 24 hours I had a most rewarding conversation with someone I knew only slightly. We deepened our understanding of each other and it warmed my heart. The next day another new friend felt comfortable in asking me to drive her somewhere. Another friendship expanded all because of my willingness to be more social. What qualities do you want to have evident in your life?

5. Choice: What you focus on you get

It’s very simple. What you look for you will see. What you focus on you will attract. If you look for negativity you will see a lot of it. If you look for positive reinforcement you will see how much there is of that around you. Notice the words you use. Are they “I can’t,” or “I can” phrases? Notice what you expect to happen – good things or bad. Once you are aware of what you are focusing on you have a choice to consciously start focusing on and expecting only the good.

6. Take charge: You are the director of your life

I play weekly cards with a woman that when I first started I found to be very, very judgmental about how I played the game that was new to me. It showed in the tone of her voice, in her judgmental sighs (you’ve heard those) and her attitude. Now I know that I always have a choice: I can hang out with people whose positive energy I like and not be with people whose energy is negative. I privately mentioned to another one of the card players that if that judgmentalness kept up I might not play cards. It was just a concerned comment and the expression of an awareness on my part that I had a choice. I have a feeling she told the woman for the latter gradually began to change. And a few evenings later the woman said, “This is so much fun!” Because she had changed her attitude, that had changed our responses to her.

You are the director of your life. What you say, what you think, what you look for, what you do, all influence those around you and their reactions to you. If you do nothing else in those quiet, reflective spaces of time, look at what you want to change about yourself. What do you need to let go of? What do you need to do more of? How can YOU change? Then do it.

Use your open time to contemplate, to rest in the unfilled spaces and simply see what shows up. Look within and see how balanced you are. What does your body need? What does your soul need? Use these pauses to reflect and make new choices based on what you find within. Open spaces are for inner work. Use them wisely.

© 2010 Cara Lumen

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Why I’m Glad I’m Unemployable

December 9, 2010 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

natural-entrepreneurI have never fit in. I’ve always been marching to a slightly different beat. Oh, it may not have been terribly noticeable – I am socially acceptable – but I felt the difference in the choices I made and the areas that drew my interest and my passion.

I get bored with people who are only reminiscing. Give me people who are planning and thinking and visioning of what they can do next. I love to create new projects and I am not suited to simple maintenance once it exists.

I settled for helper jobs when I was in the work force rather than taking the leadership position. Part of that was because I took 16 years out of the work force to raise a family. When I returned to work after a divorce, I had changed and I couldn’t catch up.

What if I had been a man? I was a television personality in my 20’s. What if I had continued to pursue that? A man could have a family and continue his career. Women do it now today to a certain extent – in my day not so much. I love my children and I love my brain. I’m glad I’ve gotten to enjoy both in my lifetime.

You make your own path

When you don’t feel you fit in, when you are not attracted to repeatable tasks in a job, or buck at not being in control of the direction you are being led, you need to go chart your own journey. And that means finding your passion and following it. What do you love to do? What cause touches your heart? What do you value most? What gifts have you been given that you have a burning desire to share? Let your passion and your gifts guide you into your perfect place of service.

What needs fixing that you can change?

Seth Godin has made public his Domino Project in which he is teaming with Amazon to change how books are published. It will eliminate the middle man and because the books will be virtual there is unlimited shelf space unlike book stores. He’s creating new opportunities an area of service that is being forced to change because of new inventions like all the reader platforms. That’s being a thought leader.

What I saw that needed help was the difficulty entrepreneurs continually have sorting out all the ideas that continually spring up in their minds. The hardest part of starting anything new – a business, a book, a course – is in having so many ideas you don’t know where to begin. So I have created a repeatable system that helps you make your best decisions and filter your ideas into the perfect format to reach and teach your target community.

Look around at your target community – those people you have chosen to serve – and see what they need from you that you are willing to provide. Then go make it happen.

Be your own guide

I started to write “be your own boss” until I realized that is a word from being employed and we are taking about the freedom of being unemployed by others. So when you choose this route you have to be your own guide, your own motivator, your own planner, your own leader, your own visionary and inspiration. There is both freedom and responsibly in that. Not everyone wants to take that path, but if that’s you, then that’s the role you have to take.

Join your peers for support

A peer mentor happens organically. I have two and may have found a third. One has been my friend for 12 years – we share similar interests but her expertise is different than mine so she knows things I don’t. The second one I met when we shared a professional training. She is forward thinking and is exploring a similar direction so we share interests. She too knows things I don’t. In both cases we share resources and talk over ideas and coach and encourage each other on our process. Keep an eye out for your own peer mentors.

Follow other thought leaders

The beautiful thing about the internet is the rapid circulation of ideas. Find people in your field who are ahead of you and learn from them. Find people who are thinking ahead, who are challenging what exists and add their ideas to your thinking as you create your own journey.

Being so true to yourself that you are unemployable by others is beautiful. Guiding yourself along your passion is magic.

© 2010 Cara Lumen

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Is Tradition Keeping You Stuck?

November 26, 2010 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

 look-aheadMy son-in-law says that having oyster dressing at Thanksgiving is a tradition. What he is saying is that it was a tradition In his family when he grew up. My daughter disliked oysters immensely but gamely fixes them. Here’s my question – why don’t they start their own version of tradition – without oysters?

Why it’s important to question tradition

If we accept tradition we never look to see if that particular version is appropriate for us, for today. And we should. Another story tells of the woman who cut both ends off of a ham before cooking it. Her husband asked her why she did it and she said, “My mother did.” She got curious and asked her mother why she did it and the answer was the same, “My mother did.” When Grandmother was asked why she cut both ends off the ham she said “because I didn’t have a pan big enough.”

We need to question why we do anything to be certain the reasons are sound and still relevant.

Create your own tradition

I remember the first Christmas my husband and I celebrated by ourselves with our children. We sat around the table in colored sweat shirts and celebrated the way that best suited our family of four young children. If there was something I liked from my parent’s version of Christmas I included it as long as it was in keeping with the needs and desires of my own family.

As I began to spend holidays alone I make up my own celebration – a lot of gratitude on Thanksgiving, forward thinking contemplation around the New Year – all with small ceremonies I make up for myself that I may or may not repeat the next year. Do what you need to do in that moment. Make it real and meaningful. Create your own celebration.

I’m scared of tradition

“We do it because it’s tradition” locks you into non-thinking, non-questioning, non-creative situations. I joined a card-playing group and suggested we might try out different games. The answer was “No, it’s traditional to do it this way.” Who’s tradition? Someone decided to do it that way at some point in time and that person isn’t even involved anymore. I love change. I love curiosity. I love questioning the status quo. I love learning new things. I’ll only do something that’s traditional if it fits my here and now.

Tradition means “habit” or “custom”

Does a barbaric custom need to be continued? Does a self-defeating habit need to be kept up? I’m suggesting we question everything and make certain it is the best we can do at that moment. It’s fine to remember “the old days” but those customs were based on what was available at the time – candles on the tree, Yule logs in the manner. Find your own version and share it with your loved ones. Make your events unique in their traditional creativity.

© 2010 Cara Lumen

Filed Under: Philosophy Tagged With: , ,

Have You Invested In Yourself Lately?

September 29, 2010 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

by Cara Lumen

money-bags_1Wherever you are in your life there is a next step coming. It could be about personal growth, it could be business development, it could be about relationships, but you are always changing and there is always something you need to learn. To keep yourself moving along, you need to continually invest in yourself.

Invest in yourself through awareness

The first step in investing in the outcome of your future is to know what you want. That means being observant about what you love to do, what you don’t so much like to do, what’s working, what’s not, and that long look inside to determine that you are following your passion. Then you make your choices.

Invest in yourself by learning

I love to learn. Whether it’s through a book, a course, a conversation, or exploration, learning something new keeps me interested and interesting. What are you doing to continue your learning?

Sometimes even while reading a novel I find a phrase that sparks a blog post. In reading the blog posts of others I get ideas for my own next steps. A conversation with an interesting entrepreneur gives me inspiration. And sometimes I simply say “I want to learn more about that” and go do it.

Invest in yourself through play

When we take time to tune into our own rhythm, we heal, we balance, we restore ourselves. And we have to slow down in order to find that rhythm. If your days are so full of have-to’s and should’s, you’ll never hear your body say, “let’s take a nap.” If you are too busy you won’t hear the call of your children, or significant other and take time to receive the special gifts only they can give. And if you don’t slow down you won’t take time to make new friends that will nourish and encourage you. Take time to play, to honor your own needs and rhythm.

Invest in yourself self care

I have a friend who does not take care of herself. She doesn’t cook for herself. She doesn’t keep her home very tidy. It’s as if she’s saying, “I don’t count.” If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? If you don’t love and honor yourself, who will? Invest in your self – in your care, your nourishment, your development, your insights, your pleasure, and your spiritual growth.

Get the help you need

Whether you need coaching, or a course, or a coach, or a friend, get the help you need to increase your personal awareness, increase your learning, deepen your relationships, care for yourself and follow your passion. Whether that helps is from the inner or outer makes no difference, just ask for help and it will be there.

© 2010 Cara Lumen

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How Are You Making a Difference?

September 8, 2010 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

by Cara Lumen

give-worldLet’s say you are older, a senior citizen if you will, and you find that you cannot or do not want to do things the way you used to. You have reached a point where you need to make some major changes and redefine your life. How do you do that? How do you continue to feel valuable, a contributor to others when your capabilities have changed? That’s a big one.

We all want to feel valuable

I’m at that stage. I’m finally acknowledging that at 77 I’m sort of old. And I’ve recently moved into an independent living environment for seniors. I’m at the completed end of two knee replacement surgeries and I have a new life to define. What do I want most? To feel valuable, to feel that I contribute, and to know that I change lives with what I offer. We all want that wherever we are in our lives. So I’m thinking and listening, and looking around me to see where I am needed and where I want to serve.

Help people learn

My favorite thing to do is to help people learn. I help them develop signature information products, learn to write really great blog posts and support them in creating a profitable online business. But that doesn’t take up all my time.

When I teach something I learn something so my next project is to create a curriculum development system that helps people write focused, powerful, meaningful information products. That will be fun. It means I get to study and learn and create and in a few months I’ll have a great course to teach.

In general I love to learn new things so in this new living environment that gives me access to a community of seniors I’m going to learn more variations of dominos, figure out Mah Jong other than solitaire version online and see what kind of social moments I can create.

What do you want to learn? What do you want to teach others? That’s a good place to start to create a feeling of value for yourself.

Help people change

At this age we have to trust that we have some wisdom to pass along, so one of our gifts can be to offer guidance from our experience. I do that through some of these posts. I write about my process, my concerns and know that some of my readers can identify with this process or problem in their own life. I’ve been a spiritual counselor, I’ve taught holistic systems like Reiki. What insights can you share that will benefit others? Do you give talks? Do you write articles? Do you blog? Do you teach? Do you coach? Do you counsel? Look at what’s important to you and see how you might share it with others to offer them insights and inspiration.

Help people do what they need to do

You can also be physically in service. I’m living in one of the kindest places in the world, where strangers continually offer help with small physical challenges – lifting a grocery bag, stopping by to take out my trash after my surgery. You can deepen the impact of your day if you start looking for small physical things you can do for others. And if you are not in a position to do things physically, give them a smile, a good word, a positive reinforcement.

Make a difference in your world

It’s been a long time since I volunteered for anything, I’ve been too busy making a living. Not that I couldn’t have done both, but I didn’t. So now I am. My son goes to play with the kittens at the shelter to help socialize them. My daughter has been a Boy Scout Leader for a long time, one of the few women who has. My other son volunteers on the board of a program to bring music to small children the age of his sons. Now it’s my turn to find something. Do I want to use my organizing and computer skills? Possibly not, I do that at home. My writing ability? That would be fun but I do that a lot too. So one of the things I’m looking for is a change of pace for myself. Do I want to do something physically demanding? It would probably be good for me but I’m not up to speed on that at the moment. Do I want to be around people? Absolutely. Do I want to make a difference in my world? You know it, and what does that mean? For me the environment and wildlife preservation come to mind.

What criteria do you want to have for your volunteer work?

Find your place of service

I was told that the Council on Aging will get me busy right away. There are volunteer organizations on line. But the first step is to find out where your own heart is, what would make your life richer as you contribute to the lives of others. Take some time to find your perfect place of service and go make a difference in your world.

© 2010 Cara Lumen

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A Tale for all Seasons 
Are You Doing What You Are Meant to Do?
Create a Sacred Moment Where All Things are Possible
How Are You Nurturing Your inner self 
How to Create Positive Change 
How to Keep Learning Even if You Think You’re Too Old
Let The Matter Unfold In Its Own Time.

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , ,

You Are the Moulder of Your Day

September 4, 2010 By Cara Lumen Leave a Comment

by Cara Lumen

 
magicianOur lives are full of transitions – movement from one phase to another, one awareness to a new one.  And with each of those transitions we get to make new choices.
 
I’ve been a metaphysician for a long time and I know how our thoughts create our reality.  But so do our actions.  When I have something new I want to add to my life I realize I am the sculptor, the molder of my day. My choices, my belief, my expectations will usher in the new opportunity.

What needs to go?

The first step in any making any change is awareness.  You need to look at what you have created in your life, what and who you have attracted, how rewarding or unrewarding your life is.  Put that on a list to further your awareness.  
 
Then take some time to write down how long you spend doing certain things.  For instance, I read 5 or 6 blogs every day and that takes me 45 minutes.  I consider that learning and inspiration time.  Where I put it in my day is a choice I get to make. I’ve been doing it first thing but in actuality my mind is ready to write first thing so that might be a better choice.

What do you need to add to your day?

My daughter is considering changing her office space at work so she won’t have so many interruptions.  They have hired someone new and have to make room for her. If my daughter moves herself to the end of the rows that hold her people it would give her one thing she really craves – fewer interruptions.  Look carefully at your day.  What do you need to add or subtract? What do you need to change?
 
This post came about because now that I have had my second knee replacement surgery I want to add movement back into my life. This means the strength building exercises the physical therapist gave me, my incumbent bike which I can do while reading a book, and longer walks outside.  I also want to join a Silver Sneakers program and go there several times a week. 
 
My daughter needs to remove herself from her situation.  I need to move myself into new interactions.

Has your work load changed?

You really can structure your work load any way that works for you.  I schedule my clients on particular days during the week.  I use another day for working on my business, not in it.  I use another day for writing – blog posts, information products, new courses.  
 
Arrange for uninterrupted time.  Arrange for focused time.  Narrow your "to do" list to three things every day and get them done.  Just three and acknowledge yourself for what you have accomplished. 

What are you doing with your spare time?  Do you have any spare time? 

Naps are good.  But to take a nap you have to slow down enough to allow yourself to know you need one and to release whatever else you had in mind so you can take one. 
 
Reading is fun.  For years I never read anything but books that taught me more about my business.  Now I have a good mix of entertainment and learning.  
 
Are you social enough?  I love being alone but do not care to be lonely.  Go find someone to hang out with.  I’m in a new environment with easy access to people and am going to promote domino and mah jong games and I’m going to the Council on Aging to find some interesting volunteer work that will take me out in my new community. 

What do you want to do that you need to make time for?

Oh that list of wanna-do’s.  Frustrating, isn’t it.  But if you pick just one project and schedule some time to work on it you’ll get excited and encouraged and make it happen.  Look at your idea list and choose the one that is currently most relevant and calls to your passion.  Then do it.

I love to write so anytime I can find new reasons to do that I will.  But what I write is a choice.  I am planning a course on curriculum development and have five huge source books to study.  It feels hard and it feels exciting.  I have a semi-schedule in mind to start it and a deadline for its completion.  Now I need to schedule daily work on it.  What do you want to do that you need to make time for?

You are the artist

You are the sculptor of your day, of your life, of your experience.  Take time to vision your big picture.  Examine every choice to see if it takes you toward your vision.  Keep moving toward your goal.  You’re the boss of your life and its outcome.  Make conscious choices that take you where you want to go.
 
© 2010 Cara Lumen
 
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